Esther Gets a Stalker

Esther loves meeting new people and is nice to almost everyone at first. Especially when tipsy on white wine, she loves to tell stories and listen to peoples’ problems, often offering friendly advice. However, sometimes this can backfire! Be careful. Esther has learned that being too nice can come across like you are flirting with someone, when actually it’s just the wine.

With one newly found friend this backfired bigtime and now Esther has a new stalker! From the beginning, Esther had no romantic interest in her future talker, but his stalkerish tendencies became more common every time they would hang out little by little. For the safety of all ladies out there, this is a public service announcement: If new guy you meet shows these warnings, he may turn into a stalker. It is best to gut it short and stay away forever. Don’t be nice.

It started off as friendly dinners since they both were foodies, which came with a lot of wine because they are both winos. Then the hanging out at the pool and parties, then a casual introduction to friends and family. This may sounds like dating, but it was not. To Esther it was two friends hanging out who had mutual interest. There was no physical contact or talk about dating. First of all, Esther is a closest hoe, so if she liked him they would have hooked up early on. I guess, her stalker did not think of this and assumed they were dating – taking things slow LOL!

After a month or two of this, the stalker casually mentions “Oh when you are my girlfriend one day…”.

Errr! What?!

Omg, did he actually say that? That was the first of many warning signs, so things calmed down for a bit after Esther backed away. I guess Esther figured it was harmless and also she wanted to eat so she kept hanging out with him. After all, she wanted a free meal and a ride in a nice car. Her stalker always seemed to brag about how much money he made and whatnot. He would take selfies of them together and post Facebook statuses at each location they were at (one time even posting 3 different locations in one night). Esther new better than responding to any of these social media flirt tactics and would just ignore them. However, it seemed like every time she ignored him, he would just come on even stronger. As a result, he would “Like” and comment on almost every one of her pictures, writing things like “angel” and “you are so beautiful that is hurts” (ew!). One time, Esther mentioned to her friends that his comments were getting weird and unsolicited. Her friend responded shocked saying, “oh, I just figured ya’ll were dating because of his comments”. Now that other people had started to notice, Esther realized things may have gotten out of hand.

Esther pulled back again after this, but again her stalker kept persisting! At this point, most people would take the hint and back off, but not stalkers – that’s why they are stalkers! Even though she never initiated contact, he would message her random updates about his day, what he was eating, or what he was watching on TV. Esther did and does not care! So, she wouldn’t respond, but then the follow up messages got creepier. He would talk about things that he knew she liked because she had posted about it on Facebook. He hoped this would trigger a response, but no. After a while of not responding at all, genius stalker decided it would be a great idea to roll up on her unannounced and make it seem like a casual encounter (Oh, hell no!)! What kind of stalker skill level is this?!

Esther is not playing hard to get.

The planned casual encounter occurred can be blamed on Facebook, TMI, and his stalking skills. Esther had published an event on Facebook to plan a tubing trip on the river. The event was open to the public and it seems Stalker decided it would be a great to join uninvited. Half-way down the river Esther was telling us about her stalker when all of a sudden we turn around and he is on a tube behind us! Casually floating down the river like “oh, I didn’t know you would be here”!

Esther Does Cocaine for the First Time

Esther is a high-strung, perfectionist with tons of energy. So it if you knew her, you would think it is strange that she would want to do cocaine, She definitely doesn't need it because she is full of energy all the time and barely can handle coffee. She drinks her coffee in a chai late so that it is not to strong and her ideal weekend is doing charity work or going to networking events.

Since Esther's lifestyle is so active and full of basic activities such as brunch and shopping at the Gap, it is no wonder she doesn't have much time to hit the Atlanta party scene. However, every once in a while Esther get's convinced to go out for special occasions like birthdays. After all, it is the proper thing to do and Esther is all about manners!

On one special birthday occasion, Esther got invited to an afterparty. Since afterparties usually consist of hook ups and drugs it was strange that she actually made it out. It was her endless energy and enthusiasm  that led to her continuing to party when she arrived at the afterparty at 3 AM. Once the cocaine was out, it was also said enthusiasm. upitty optimism, and a couple of drinks that made it seem like trying cocaine would be a good idea.

Needless to say her first-time cocaine experience was atypical of most cocaine users. With fair warning, she was told not to do it, "Don't do it. You can't handle it." Her friend and said, "You already have so much energy. You don't need it!"

Esther proceeds to take a bump of coke and says, "I don't feel anything.". Everyone starts laughing and says "Ok, whatever," knowing that it will hit her in a couple of minutes. After a short pause, Esther proceeds to talk non-stop about how and why she thinks cocaine should be legal (lol). At 6 AM, Esther is still going. After actively participating with the coke heads, she decides to go home at 8 AM - still no sleep and no end in sight.

While her sleeping friend waits for her back at home, she arrives announcing, "I did coke!" as she burst through the door. Startled and half awake, her friend grumbles "Go to sleep." Esther replies, "I can't. I have so much to do. Go to the grocery store, clean, pool party..." as she jumps on the computer and starts replying to various emails. She then left the house and did't fall asleep until that night. "I don't feel anything, yeah right!"

Why is Esther So Thirsty?

If you are not from the U.S. you don't know what it means to be thirsty these days. We don't mean that she needs something to drink. Being "thirsty" means that she is a desperate hoe - a girl who chases after guys without any regard for self-respect.

You can tell Esther is thirsty because she is constantly chasing after a guy that she was "dating", but recently broke up with. I say "dating", because that has yet to be proven as her "ex-boyfriend" still denies it to this day.

Random Person: "Didn't you date Esther?"
Ex-Boyfriend: "No!"

Usually females stop being thirsty after they get dumped like Esther did, but this does not stop Esther from pining over her ex in public, on Facebook, and on Instagram. Dude! Someone needs to give Esther a reality check because she is still thinks that there is something going on. Girl, he dumped you and you need to get off his D - as we say in Atlanta.

I could go on and on about the crazy, desperate, and thirsty things she does, but here is a quick list just to name a few. The worst part is that if she is going to act this way, it should be kept provate, not all over the Internet because she just embarrasses herself even more.

• She is a "photographer" so she started chasing him when she became his official event photographer at his DJ appearances. This meant that she would be at every party he played at while posting pictures on Instagram.
• She made a comment on a photo of a DJ that got married that her ex posting saying: "So DJ marriages are a thing now?"
• She constantly posts old-ass selfies of herself for no reason -- like not even relevant to anything, just to make it look like she is currently doing something when everyone knows she is at home doing nothing. 
• She also helps her ex set up for his parties, decorate, and is the #1 groupie at any and all events in exchange for nothing - well, in exchange for sex.
• Her post are often about relationships, sad love songs, or songs about sex. One day they are about being in love and the next day they are about how single she is. The reason her relationship status changes so much is because she IS NOT in a relationship!
• After being dumped, she posted a photo with her arm around and invisible person the the caption "With bae".
• She tried to drug her ex by giving him prescription drugs at a party. His friends found out and took care of him the rest of the night.

Girl, stop!

So what do you think of this level of thirst? Is it normal or too much?