Esther Gets a Stalker

Esther loves meeting new people and is nice to almost everyone at first. Especially when tipsy on white wine, she loves to tell stories and listen to peoples’ problems, often offering friendly advice. However, sometimes this can backfire! Be careful. Esther has learned that being too nice can come across like you are flirting with someone, when actually it’s just the wine.

With one newly found friend this backfired bigtime and now Esther has a new stalker! From the beginning, Esther had no romantic interest in her future talker, but his stalkerish tendencies became more common every time they would hang out little by little. For the safety of all ladies out there, this is a public service announcement: If new guy you meet shows these warnings, he may turn into a stalker. It is best to gut it short and stay away forever. Don’t be nice.

It started off as friendly dinners since they both were foodies, which came with a lot of wine because they are both winos. Then the hanging out at the pool and parties, then a casual introduction to friends and family. This may sounds like dating, but it was not. To Esther it was two friends hanging out who had mutual interest. There was no physical contact or talk about dating. First of all, Esther is a closest hoe, so if she liked him they would have hooked up early on. I guess, her stalker did not think of this and assumed they were dating – taking things slow LOL!

After a month or two of this, the stalker casually mentions “Oh when you are my girlfriend one day…”.

Errr! What?!

Omg, did he actually say that? That was the first of many warning signs, so things calmed down for a bit after Esther backed away. I guess Esther figured it was harmless and also she wanted to eat so she kept hanging out with him. After all, she wanted a free meal and a ride in a nice car. Her stalker always seemed to brag about how much money he made and whatnot. He would take selfies of them together and post Facebook statuses at each location they were at (one time even posting 3 different locations in one night). Esther new better than responding to any of these social media flirt tactics and would just ignore them. However, it seemed like every time she ignored him, he would just come on even stronger. As a result, he would “Like” and comment on almost every one of her pictures, writing things like “angel” and “you are so beautiful that is hurts” (ew!). One time, Esther mentioned to her friends that his comments were getting weird and unsolicited. Her friend responded shocked saying, “oh, I just figured ya’ll were dating because of his comments”. Now that other people had started to notice, Esther realized things may have gotten out of hand.

Esther pulled back again after this, but again her stalker kept persisting! At this point, most people would take the hint and back off, but not stalkers – that’s why they are stalkers! Even though she never initiated contact, he would message her random updates about his day, what he was eating, or what he was watching on TV. Esther did and does not care! So, she wouldn’t respond, but then the follow up messages got creepier. He would talk about things that he knew she liked because she had posted about it on Facebook. He hoped this would trigger a response, but no. After a while of not responding at all, genius stalker decided it would be a great idea to roll up on her unannounced and make it seem like a casual encounter (Oh, hell no!)! What kind of stalker skill level is this?!

Esther is not playing hard to get.

The planned casual encounter occurred can be blamed on Facebook, TMI, and his stalking skills. Esther had published an event on Facebook to plan a tubing trip on the river. The event was open to the public and it seems Stalker decided it would be a great to join uninvited. Half-way down the river Esther was telling us about her stalker when all of a sudden we turn around and he is on a tube behind us! Casually floating down the river like “oh, I didn’t know you would be here”!

Esther Does Cocaine for the First Time

Esther is a high-strung, perfectionist with tons of energy. So it if you knew her, you would think it is strange that she would want to do cocaine, She definitely doesn't need it because she is full of energy all the time and barely can handle coffee. She drinks her coffee in a chai late so that it is not to strong and her ideal weekend is doing charity work or going to networking events.

Since Esther's lifestyle is so active and full of basic activities such as brunch and shopping at the Gap, it is no wonder she doesn't have much time to hit the Atlanta party scene. However, every once in a while Esther get's convinced to go out for special occasions like birthdays. After all, it is the proper thing to do and Esther is all about manners!

On one special birthday occasion, Esther got invited to an afterparty. Since afterparties usually consist of hook ups and drugs it was strange that she actually made it out. It was her endless energy and enthusiasm  that led to her continuing to party when she arrived at the afterparty at 3 AM. Once the cocaine was out, it was also said enthusiasm. upitty optimism, and a couple of drinks that made it seem like trying cocaine would be a good idea.

Needless to say her first-time cocaine experience was atypical of most cocaine users. With fair warning, she was told not to do it, "Don't do it. You can't handle it." Her friend and said, "You already have so much energy. You don't need it!"

Esther proceeds to take a bump of coke and says, "I don't feel anything.". Everyone starts laughing and says "Ok, whatever," knowing that it will hit her in a couple of minutes. After a short pause, Esther proceeds to talk non-stop about how and why she thinks cocaine should be legal (lol). At 6 AM, Esther is still going. After actively participating with the coke heads, she decides to go home at 8 AM - still no sleep and no end in sight.

While her sleeping friend waits for her back at home, she arrives announcing, "I did coke!" as she burst through the door. Startled and half awake, her friend grumbles "Go to sleep." Esther replies, "I can't. I have so much to do. Go to the grocery store, clean, pool party..." as she jumps on the computer and starts replying to various emails. She then left the house and did't fall asleep until that night. "I don't feel anything, yeah right!"

Why is Esther So Thirsty?

If you are not from the U.S. you don't know what it means to be thirsty these days. We don't mean that she needs something to drink. Being "thirsty" means that she is a desperate hoe - a girl who chases after guys without any regard for self-respect.

You can tell Esther is thirsty because she is constantly chasing after a guy that she was "dating", but recently broke up with. I say "dating", because that has yet to be proven as her "ex-boyfriend" still denies it to this day.

Random Person: "Didn't you date Esther?"
Ex-Boyfriend: "No!"

Usually females stop being thirsty after they get dumped like Esther did, but this does not stop Esther from pining over her ex in public, on Facebook, and on Instagram. Dude! Someone needs to give Esther a reality check because she is still thinks that there is something going on. Girl, he dumped you and you need to get off his D - as we say in Atlanta.

I could go on and on about the crazy, desperate, and thirsty things she does, but here is a quick list just to name a few. The worst part is that if she is going to act this way, it should be kept provate, not all over the Internet because she just embarrasses herself even more.

• She is a "photographer" so she started chasing him when she became his official event photographer at his DJ appearances. This meant that she would be at every party he played at while posting pictures on Instagram.
• She made a comment on a photo of a DJ that got married that her ex posting saying: "So DJ marriages are a thing now?"
• She constantly posts old-ass selfies of herself for no reason -- like not even relevant to anything, just to make it look like she is currently doing something when everyone knows she is at home doing nothing. 
• She also helps her ex set up for his parties, decorate, and is the #1 groupie at any and all events in exchange for nothing - well, in exchange for sex.
• Her post are often about relationships, sad love songs, or songs about sex. One day they are about being in love and the next day they are about how single she is. The reason her relationship status changes so much is because she IS NOT in a relationship!
• After being dumped, she posted a photo with her arm around and invisible person the the caption "With bae".
• She tried to drug her ex by giving him prescription drugs at a party. His friends found out and took care of him the rest of the night.

Girl, stop!

So what do you think of this level of thirst? Is it normal or too much?

Esther Hooks Up With A Married Man

Dating a married person is taboo, but many people may wonder what leads to a person being in a relationship with a married man. Here is how it happend to Esther.

Esther has some issues with relationships and the trend seems to be that she dates men who are in some way unavailable. Whether they live abroad or in other relationships, Esther picks men who are only 1/2 way commited. This situation usually causes her to be 'The Other Woman', but by now Esther is used to this so that is how she ended up dating a married guy.

She met him at one of her several new jobs. Actually, she met him before she started working at a bar acouple of weeks prior. Funny thing is that when she asked to bum a ciggarette from him, he read her palm as a joke and said that soon they would be close together. Well, he actually did predict the future because a couple of weeks later they were working in the same office.

The first couple of days on the job, Esther did not recognize him. Afterall, she was very drunk the day they met. However, she did notice him staring at her and eventually other coworkers started to mention that she already knew someone at the office. After a couple of weeks, he finally introduced hiself to her and reminded her of their brief encounter at the bar. He was psychic and it was a sign that they were meant to be, so they hit it off immidiatley!

After a while of getting to know each other, they became drinking buddies. It was not apparent that he was married because he went out a lot, got very drunk, and flirted with lots of girls, but eventually he revealed that he was married.

If you have been reading this blog, at this point it should be apparent that Esther has low standards for morality, so let say that she did not care if he was married or not. She like flirting with him and he was very aggressive about hitting on her and made it obvious tha he wanted to be more than friends.

One day while drinking, he kissed her and the physical relationship started. The attraction was very strong, but their physical attraction was only kissing and making out for about 6 months. Even though they both wanted more, he was strict in not corssing the sual line because he was married.

A couple of months later he would get divorced. Ironically, they got divorced because he found his wife cheating on him with another man!

Esther's Dog Gets Stolen By An International Dog Trafficking Ring

Esther has always had bad luck with pets. There are common stories about dogs running away, but this story she told me was definately strange. Apparently, Esther's dog was stolen by an international dog trafficking ring!

Photo of Goofy Man.

Esther's dog was a brown and white spotted Chihuahua who was kind of goofy looking, so she called him Goofy Man -- like the rapper Gucci Man.

Esther said that it all started when she would walk her dog (aka Goofy Man) around the hood.

She started getting stopped by a random old lady that was about 60 years old an missing teeth. 

Though the lady looked a little sketchy, she would stop Esther and obsess over how cute her dog was, saying,  “Oh, your dog is so cute, you should let me have him. ” Uh, no! Thought Esther and would keep it moving.


Eventually, they became friendly as the lady gave Esther some free dog food and offered to babysit the dog for FREE! One day, Esther eventually gave in since she had to go out of town and needed someone to take care of the dog. She invited the lady over to her house and then dropped off the dog at the old lady's house. 

Looking back, Esther should have noticed that the lady's house was strange. She had 1 room with about 10 dogs in it. However, the lady incisted that she just loved dogs and was taking care of them for other people. Anyway, Esther thought it would be good for Goofy to make new friends, so she left him there. 

Matching description of old lady.

When she got back in town, she called the lady and that is when things started to get stranger and stranger. When the lady eventually answered the phone, Esther asked at what time she could pick up the dog. However, the lady said she took the dog out of town to her farm and would not be back until next week. Whaaaaat!?!?!?!

With no other options, Esther had to wait unti the lady came back in town and was then informed that the lady had gone on a business trip to Panama and that she took the dog with her. Whaaaat?!?!?!

“So when will the dog be back?” askesd Esther. Well...the lady started to explain that Goofy Man had become sick during the flight to Panama and that she had to take him to the vet. Therefore, Goofy was too sick to fly again and had to wait until he got better. At this point, Esther starts to realize that she will not be getting her dog back anytime soon or ever!

After incisting several times and trying to negotiate a meeting, the lady was not budging. She had decided to give the dog to her daughter in Panama and Goofy was not coming back. Her justification was that she had paid too much money on the vet bills, so that counted as paying for the dog like she had bought it and owned it now. She even sent Esther a picture of the dog to prove that it was ok! At least Goofy was being taken care of and was safe.

But, what could she do? The woman was out of town and she had no other information about her. She could not call the cops because she did not think they could do anything about it. She decided to go to the lady's house, but the doorman said that she was not living there and did not have any information on her either.

Esther's conclusion was that the lady was managing an international dog trafficking ring where she would steal dogs then resell them to other people. Was she in an organized crime network or gang? Esther decided that it was too risky to investgate further since the lady knew where she lived and did not want to stir up more trouble.

No wonder she had so many dogs in her house!

Esther Gets Fired from Several Jobs

Esther has had a lot of jobs because she gets fired from most of them eventually. This usually happens at the 1 year mark for some reason, but the shortest job lasted 2 weeks. One reason may be that she never gets along with the Human Resources people, which is not good.


1. California Pizza Kitchen
After getting fired from her previsous job, Esther needed money ASAP and had to look for a quick and easy job to a make some fast cash. She applied to everything, but in desperation decided to try something that she has 0% experience in - waitressing. It did not seem to hard and the money was decent, so she applied to a new California Pizza Kitch (CPK) that was opening soon.

She was hired and the first 2 weeks would consist of training. Esther thought that was awsome since she wouldn't actually have to work and still get paid. Even better, she could get free food while training! However, she did not learn much in training. On the second day of actually working, she was fired.

It may have been because the appetizers would come out after that entrees because she put the order in wrong. Or, because she forgot to give a customer the free birthday ice cream and totally ignored any birthday celebration request.

2. JWT Advertising Agency
Esther got drunk at the Christmas party and tried to fight the Director of Human Resources. Once rumors of the incident got back to her manager, she was quickly fired. For details, read: Esther Gets Drunk at The Office Christmas Party - Part 1

3. Y&R Advertising Agency
There may have been an international concpiracy involved, but Esther got fired again from another advertising agency for a combination of reasons. Though, they never said why, so it could be any one of these resons:

• Esther was sleeping with a coworker who eventually dumped her and started dating the Human Resources Director. As a result, the office was a bit awkward and Esther thinks the HR Director wanted to get rid of her to keep her away from the guy.
• Esther accidently insults her boss when she did not realize the conference call phone was not on mute.
• Esther tells her boss that while on an out of town training event that the company paid for she felt like she was “on vacation”.

Esther Gets Drunk at The Office Christmas Party - Part 2

READ PART 1 FIRST! - Esther Gets Drunk at The Office Christmas Party - Part 1

While drunk yelling, standing, and pointing at a random lady that she did not know was the Human Resources Director, Esther was scolded by the party supervisor who said, “We don’t act like that around here. Sit down!”

Go home, Esther! You're drunk!

After finishing the meal, Esther began to look for her purse which had been lost at some point during the last 10 hours of drinking. She decided to look around the restaurant, but did not realize that little-by-little her coworkers were leaving and getting back on the buses to go home. Since she was the only one from the whole company left, a restaurant employees noticed her stumbling around and escorted her to the buses. But it was too late. When they made it outside, the last bus was leaving the parking lot. Oh no! Now what?

Esther did not find her purse, so she had no money, keys, or transportation to get home. She was about 1.5 hours away from home, drunk, and stranded. With no other options, the restaurant staff took pity on her and found a employee to drive her home. The next day she had to go to work and it was not pretty.

Since the office party was on a Thursday, Esther had to wake up on Friday to go to the office. Arriving around 10:30 a.m. with the worst hangover ever, she sneaked into the office. Then came the consequences from the night before -- she would have to email HR ask if anyone had found her purse. She tried to write the most polite email possible, not knowing that there was already some controversy about her stirring in the HR department.

Thankfully, someone found her purse and they were going to send it to her, but the email reply from HR was not so friendly -- clearly something had changed. But why? It was only later that Esther realized that the lady she yelled at was the Director of Human Resources. 1 month would pass before she found out.

During the next month, things started to change. Esther noticed that her manager was becoming increasingly frustrated with her for no reason -- even growling at her at one point when she asked what the conference call number was! Then, one of her coworkers told her that there were rumors about her from the Christmas party. Still, she did not think that was a big deal. She said, 'So what if I got drunk at a Christmas party. Who cares? It’s not like I was the only one. Noone is going to notice.'

Well, she was wrong. The logic may have been reasonable since she was drinking with her whole team, which was 5 other people who were also drunk. However, a couple of weeks later after another office party that got out of hand with some visiting Mexican coworkers, open tequila bar, and mariachis; she was called into a team meeting.

The no one knew what the surprise meeting would be about, they could not have expected anything worse to happen. As the team manager and director stood in front, they began to explain what they had heard about the Christmas party. Little-by-little, they said that they had been told that members of the team had been making out, falling, passed out drunk, missing the bus, and fighting. Esther said that her teammates were shocked! Even though they were all guilty of drinking, clearly the worst behavior was by her. Later that day she was fired.

Reasons for firing were unclear. Her boss told her about some error in a campaign that supposedly happened back in December, but that was a lie. The real reason was the drinking, but since legally that could not fire someone for being a badass party monster, they had to make up some work-related excuse.